12.1.12 – I wrote the below poem during a dark time of depression and happy people made me angry. Maybe you can relate. If so, there is hope. I am not stuck in that place anymore. Through the help of godly counsel and the grace and mercy of my Lord Jesus Christ, I am a new creation. I am joyful, content, healed and feel loved. It doesn’t mean life is now perfect. I still have lows, but I can turn to Jesus and he carries my burdens and comforts me. He cares about our every need and knows our despair. Call out to Him. He loves you.
Go away, world
Just leave me alone
Especially you with your happy little lives
Go ride your merry-go-round of consistency and predictability
Enjoy the pace where you can get on and off at your leisure
As I tighten my grip on this roller coaster of the turbulent and the unknown
Where the highs of exuberance are met with equal lows of despair
Enjoy your brightly colored lights and joyful music,
Your playful and whimsical surroundings
While I’m encased by hard, cold steel and loud rumblings
That never seem to end.
Even though my highs are extreme and thrilling,
It never quite prepares me for the drop to come.
And even though the course is familiar,
I am never really in control.
The highs and the lows,
Around and around on the track I go.
The controller is relentless,
Faster and faster
Louder and louder
My cries to slow down cannot be heard
Nor would they be considered anyway.
For the ride has a mind of its own.
Copyright 2001 Debbie Haupt
Psalm 40:1-3 “I waited patiently for the LORD; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the LORD.
Psalm 42:11 “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.”
Debbie McKisick Haupt 